if my job were more like survivor

and my boss was jeff probst, this problem could have been solved in a week.

google "disd".

google "rif-reduction in force".

google "complete idiocy".

and more than likely you'll get all kinds of information on a financial debacle that makes the stock market plunge look like fuzzy math. it makes ike look like a may shower. it makes, okay, you get the picture. but it really is amazing what has been going on in my school district.

i direct you to the unofficial blog because they are pretty accurate 99.9% of the time.

today was d-day. while the michael scotts were making decisions and telling principals who to lay-off, we were to be business as usual. more dwight schrute and less stanley. but i digress.

i got to thinking....those reality shows may be on to something.

my pitch:
not mainstream enough for a major network. or edgy enough
for cable.
could make the cw.
man, where is tina fey when you need
her?
each school is a tribe. granted, we don't need to see
teachers in ripped clothing or bikinis, so we won't go too exotic. maybe
wilmer-hutchins, or ennis.


the host? modano's got the looks. dirk's got the
accent. cuban's got the personality (?) ultimately, i vote jerry. he's always
got his hand in something good around here.

various competitions and elimination games are set up
for us to compete in.
granted, the secondary schools will rule at the
physical feats (we have coaches, and what better athletes are there than former
high school sport stars that couldn't make it in the big time). and, we have
perfected the art of the high five.

but, of course the elementary schools would totally
dominate at the thinking stuff because they are usually a little more meticulous
and pay attention to detail.

besides, they know all about being quiet and staying in
line and holding bubbles in their mouths. while we're too busy being the
make-out police.

okay, so all loser schools would simply vote off their
own teachers. trust me, we can weed out our own.

you hog the copy machine, so i spend my entire planning
period waiting in line?
vote.
you take the last of the lounge coffee and don't start
a new pot?
vote.
although my lunch clearly has my name on the front
(monogrammed and everything), you still "just want to taste."?
vote.
you show up for every lunch potluck, but never bring a
thing?
vote.
you send me your worst kids, because "i know how to
handle them."?
vote.
you want a copy of all my lesson plans, but offer
nothing in return?
vote.

see how easy that is? trust me, those of us on the inside know what's important. oh wait, immunity? sure, totally up for grabs.

take over one of classes so i can leave
early.
take over one of my classes so i can have a longer
lunch.
take over one of my classes because happy hour went
long last night.
take over one of my classes because i have a paper to
read.
immunity granted!

oh, i hear the execs knocking now.........wait, that may just be my pink slip.